No, no, no. The answer is vastly more sophisticated than the unimaginative 650%.
For starters, Bjorn is obviously bjorn to run by the sounds of his narrative and probably enjoys long walks on the Lindisfarne beach with a poodle named Alhambra and fresh tuna fish sandwiches--for the benefits of the Omega 3 fatty acids.
Speaking of acid, that must have been some trip to erect a Stronghold to 2. Nothing like a double-tapped Stronghold erection!
With all of those upgraded Mines, it sounds like the Lindisfarne seagulls were especially hangry that day, "Mine! Mine! Mine!" They are not the only ones to find Nemo obviously.
Was the "redecorated" Town done by the Fab 5? This is an important missing link in the narrative I'm afraid, but as any good Norseman would say, "Don't ask, don't tell," right?
And as far as equipment goes, never be caught without your equipment. Don't be a fool, cover your tool, obviously. If your Warrior's Helmet is "Unusual" as you say, it only stands to reason that the "Ice boots" factor into this equation. Any saucy wench is sure to get cold feet, aka ice boots, when the Warrior's Helmet is unusual--unless she's into that sort of thing...
Well, this brings us to the Khazar's legendary Amulet with a White Robe. A bit of fashion faux pas I'm afraid, but hey, Allah is Kind and Merciful, blessed be He.
Your wandering hero sounds a bit cleptomaniacal with all that listed booty. Could be poor potty training from childhood. And that Shaman with the Beast Shells must have been to a Heilung concert/ritual lately. Who would have thought women with antlers could be so attractive! Bully for you!
Lastly, the King of Jotunheim is a figment of the collective imagination of this community. As I have never seen any monsters, etc. there, it sounds like fake news to me. Read Lee McIntyre's illuminating study, _Post-Truth_ from MIT Press. It's insightful. Really feeling the Trump-like love there.
As far as being labelled a "Buffoon," just say no, Bjorn. You are a special snowflake. Just ask Brene Brown's insightful work about shame and vulnerability. Ignore the more propagandistic tropes there, Bjorn, and just enjoy that tuna fish sandwich with a stroll on the beach with that poodle. Love and opportunity are just around the corner!
Hugs!