“Arrrrr. Me jewel encrusted toilet paper roller be missin’” Davy Jones shouted, storming out of his bathroom. “Which of you landlubbers be tryin’ to pilfer me most prized possession?”

Snuggles, the fluffy kraken gave a sideways glance at his feathery friend, Polly.

“SQUAWK! Not me. Not me.” Despite his denial to Jones’ accusation, he flew to the other side of the small cabin, near Snuggles.

“And, what about ye.” Jones glared with his one good eye at Snuggles. “Ya fur lined tentacle freak.”

Snuggles shook his head in silence.

“Thar be no one else here. Which one of ye took me roller!” Fire smothered behind his eye as he menacingly extended his hooked hand. “I invite ya both here for tea and cakes and this is how ya treat me?”

“We’ll not stay here and be disparaged,” Snuggles huffed, sticking his beak in the air to emphasize his offense.

Polly flew to Snuggles’ head as they headed out the door.

Fuming the captain stormed back to the bathroom and looked at the empty holder. With his peg leg he kicked the nearby trashcan in frustration. A glint caught his eye as something rolled behind the toilet from the can.

“Blast, it musta fell off the wall. I’ll call them and apologize.” Jones went to the kitchen and grabbed the phone from the wall. As he dialed he noticed a slice missing from his rum cake.

“Me cake! Who ate me cake!”

Aarrr!
.
It was a dark 'n stormy sea when I be sitting in me capt'ns chair a deciphering me log whilst pondering a tasty snack o rum cake.  Me trusty sea-hound, Sparky the wonder dog, quietly snoozing at me feet.  All a sudden lightning boomed o'er the forecastle, the candles dimmed and a ghastly sulfuric stench filled me quarters.  Jumping to my feet I thought the devil-his-self were makin' his appearance.   Sparky never moved, except he tooted agin.   Well, that explains the odor.  I reckon whilst I be up I'll fetch me a bit o that cake.  Then I see a Sparky-sized bite amissing from the rummy cake.  Aha, that too, explains the gassy Sparky.
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Respectfully,

Ye scurvy bilge rats, who dare take me rum cake, ts was there and now be gone

I be thinkin ts was that scurvey old hag fluffy Kraken and his Matey Turlough

the Greedy Parrot whispered in me ear, but then it could be tricken me knowing that Anne Bonnie was eyeing me Rum cake

it be tricken me, i just be knowin it. 

But be known  th  crew seen a great grand sea beast, th' mother of all things wicked aye, an' then th' kraken came and took another slice of me rum cake, ts was mocking me, i new that rotten ol scurvy scallywags was part of it, ARHH!!  blasted dat Turlough 

I should be make him walk dat plank but ye know i think dat Anne Bonnie is invoved, i just can't catch dat saucy lass

but me eyes on her, 

 ""Yo-ho-ho-ho-ho "" 

Puddy,the furry Kraken,  sat by the fire cleaning her "fur",which was actually a wig that Captain Flint had dropped on her when she was a baby, but no one dared tell her. Super strength glue applied as she slept kept it in place, more or less.

On Captain Flint's hat sat Sage ,the Parrot.

"Well " started Flint "Shiver me timbers tis a cold night, i think it be time for me Rum and some cake"

Moving awkwardly ,Flint entered the galley and opened the pantry door........

"No! " Flint cried " Me Rum cake!!, somebody's nabbed o bit of me Rum cake"

Sobbing ,Flint picked up the cake to show Puddy and Sage, " me mammy made this fur i " he blubbed as he peered gloomily at the large bite mark in the side of the cake.

Puddy grinned to herself and hid her face deeper into her "fur"

And all Sage could say was "pieces of cake, pieces of cake"

Who be Happy ? I be Happywho x x 

Hurry up! Ye still have a chance to get a reward! Do not be shy, shiver me timbers. It does not belong to a Pirate to be shy

Whilst fighting the cowardly "King Carlos" me and my brave crew got pulled into this here whirlpool, Down we both went to the crushing depths. 

To my surprise we came face to face with Davy Jones himself. 

He says to me " Recite me a  poem ending in Timbuktu and the best one of ya gets me treasure I keeps in the Lu and gets to go back to the surface. 

King Carlos went first" As I was walking by the sea, A sailing ship I chance to see, It's sails were white, It's deck was blue, It's destination Timbuktu. 

Me thinks for a bit and proudly recites" As I was walking by the Sea, All alone just Tim and me, three lovely maidens we chanced to see, They were but three and we were but two, so I bucked one and Timbuktu. Suddenly  we was back on the surface. 

The crew was shaken to the core but as promised we was back and the treasure was a golden toilet and inside was a rum cake with a bite out of it.

Shiver me timbres, I hope that was rum cake.

Blackheart, thank ye fer posting yer story. Ye will see the winners TODAY!

Ahoy ye scurvy dogs and Pirate Ladies!

As promised the best submissions will receive 1,500 Rubies each. 

ANDROMEDA

GORDONLEE

BLASPHEMY

JOHNCABOT

BLACKHEART

HAPPYWHO
DUTCHBOCK

Hey, have ye ever cooked Rum cake?

¡Atención Capitán! A veces una tarta de Ron puede ser más útil que cofre de Rubíes. ¿No te lo crees? Capitán, si estás solo en una pequeña isla, básicamente abandonado en el medio del océano, sin ni siquiera una pequeña brisa, puedes volverte loco, un pastel de Ron te puede salvar la vida. 

ROBERT , it is because we all arrr scurvy Pirrrrates! Yo-ho-ho! 

3nine51 said:

Hmm, ahoy what be that two points off the stern?  Do me eyes deceive me or be that one of Don Carlos' gallions  a wallowing like a pig in muck?  Avast ye hearties, put us over to larboard and take us to pistol shot off her starboard quarter,  We'll be feeding the pig for ol' Don -- a right smart rakin' across th' stern, then Mister Howlings, get yer marines to the tops and cut down her decks,  The rest o' ye sea-dogs, Board that floatin' garbage scow, and take her captive!  Arrrr HA Ha...  We'll be takin' a bit of a bite out of old Don Carlos' rum cake today!

A piece of old Don Carlos' rum cake  before bed would be lovely. Ye wrote a wonderful story, me Hearty!